it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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