its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize