I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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