I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize