it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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