Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
