I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
