Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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