if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
