im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
