Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
