i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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