Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
