Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
