Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
