i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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