You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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