I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
