I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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