So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize