after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
