it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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