Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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