walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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