I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
