it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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