I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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