in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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