That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
