He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
