i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
PANTIES FOUND
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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