D3 body, D1 cock
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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