we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize