I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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