what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
