Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
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Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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