I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
