I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
