Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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