Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
