is your mom at the bar?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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