420 ftw
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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