it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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