hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize