I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
