Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
