someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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