You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
