ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
