So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
