OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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