whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
