nutella sex= disaster
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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