I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We talked him into tasing himself.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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